Alias...

While a lot of unpublished posts waiting to see the light of the day, I thought this was more important. I used the pseudonym Sakshi, not because I belong to the credo of Saki and likes, but primarily because the name/word 'Sakshi' means 'a witness'. Being trained in Anthropology, one cannot but jibe that the name is apt; what will all the participant and non participant observation that an anthropologist relies on. An ethnographer by the rulebook writes a log, an account of his daily dealings with people - what he sees, what he feels, what happened, how it happened, why it happened etc. Analysis, I believe begins with reflection. That is what I intend to do here - to reflect. Call me an immature ethnographer, writing a log of what happens around me, what I see, what I feel; as a person, as a researcher or whatever. And one day, I hope, to gather these thoughts and garnish them with years of experience - you never know....

I was talking/chatting to my alter ego, Nivedita - fondly called as Nivi, the other day. And I told her that I blog. Here is what she had to say:

nivi: ab tum batao itne der tak tum kya kar rahi ho online?
nivi: dinner kiya?
SRM: was blogging
SRM: or at least trying to write something
[and I shared the blog link]

[The 1st question she asked was:]

nivi: who is sakshi?
SRM: me
nivi: why sakshi?
SRM: i put that since i did not want to disclose my real identity
SRM: plus like i have written there
SRM: i really like that name
SRM: that means a witness
nivi: well hindi to ati hai
nivi: but ok
nivi: reason bhi theek thak hai
nivi: but sakshi
nivi: is not real na
SRM: toh kya 'kali mata' likhu?
nivi: :))
nivi: okok
nivi: likh
nivi: SAKSHI
SRM: what do u suggest?
nivi: but yes they look impressive
nivi: well i do not see a reason you should write anything other than SHILPA
nivi: its a very very beautiful name with a very sophisticated meaning

SRM: (SRM) is there
nivi: i know
nivi: i did see
nivi: but when u doing something so remarkable, why not take the ownership?
nivi: u must not be apprehensive and certainly not embarrassed
nivi: which i know u are not
SRM: yeah
nivi: anyways take your time
SRM: i will think about it
nivi: but give urself the opportunity to take credit for the good you are doing
SRM: i dont kno how good it is ok
SRM: n no i am not trying to be modest
nivi_bhawani: sweety....life is so busy for everyone, but there are few who stop to ponder over what s happening and still fewer who express and only a handful who share those thoughts.......
SRM: okkkk
nivi: so u certainly are doing a good job expressing

Well, Nivi, if you are reading this, this is for you: Thanks a ton for making me realise this. I owe this one to you. Obviously, I had left unmistakable signs of my writings on the blog - very subtly disclosing who I am, to those that know me then be it writing 'shilsworld' in that tiny little space in the left hand corner of the photograph, or writing that I am both a trained Microbiologist and Anthropologist. Yet, hiding my identity was not much of a use, especially with my buds getting confused! Or writing a comment that begins thus: "Hey Shil/Shilpa..."! I decided it was not much of a use anyways.

So here I go about telling people my real name. SRM stands for my name, Shilpa Ramesh Maiya. I own and am responsible for everything I have written here. And I believe in everything I write here. Those that know me, know that I am passionate about writing as much as I am about reading. Those that know me even better know that the name 'Sakshi' is even special to me - in a zillion little ways.

So, do I delete my pseudonym?

I decided against it - I like it a bit too much.

For now, I am sure my friends will welcome me to the 'real world!'

Lost and Found

I was looking at all the things I’ve ever written. I found I had scribbled this when I was in school. Thought I’d put it here.

And even when a dear one,
Is taken from your sight,
And sorrow casts its shadow,
Across the golden light.
There comes a sweet assurance,
That love can never die,
For ends are new beginnings,
And this is not goodbye

Sakshi (SRM)

Into Nothingness

Its been about 20 days now that I quit Ahmedabad and I am home. And I am bombarded with a zillion questions:
So, why did you quit such a good job?
Oh, well just this and that...
Didn't you like what you were doing?
No, I loved it.... I mean how many at my age worked on policy making?
And what are you doing?
Recuperating...
From what?
Oh, umm.. a lot of things...
And how are you keeping yourself busy, apart from recuperating of course?
Oh, keeping up with my routine early morning walks, I read, I write and yes I've given my time to Sabery, a PhD student here in my Department, I'm helping him write his PhD thesis. He is from Iran and his 'Eenglish' is not very good. I am editing his thesis (alas, I am not gonna get the degree!!). Apart from that I am very busy trying to be a good girl. That really takes up most of my time. I am cooking here (believe it or not - daily!!) trying to do the house chores, and mind you - I am still a novice at it! And a lot of other just this's and that's.
So how is life treating you?
Life always rocked me!! (pun intended!!) Life rocks!!
And what are your plans next?
Oh, apart from recuperating you mean?
Yes....
Pampering myself!!
Huh?
Ok, apart from pampering yourself?
A little bit of bumming around...if you know what I mean... and a little bit of this and that...
Finding another job?
MAD-O-WHAT???
So how do you feel about you current endeavor?
Fantastic!!Can you see my smile extend from one ear ot another?