Alias...

While a lot of unpublished posts waiting to see the light of the day, I thought this was more important. I used the pseudonym Sakshi, not because I belong to the credo of Saki and likes, but primarily because the name/word 'Sakshi' means 'a witness'. Being trained in Anthropology, one cannot but jibe that the name is apt; what will all the participant and non participant observation that an anthropologist relies on. An ethnographer by the rulebook writes a log, an account of his daily dealings with people - what he sees, what he feels, what happened, how it happened, why it happened etc. Analysis, I believe begins with reflection. That is what I intend to do here - to reflect. Call me an immature ethnographer, writing a log of what happens around me, what I see, what I feel; as a person, as a researcher or whatever. And one day, I hope, to gather these thoughts and garnish them with years of experience - you never know....

I was talking/chatting to my alter ego, Nivedita - fondly called as Nivi, the other day. And I told her that I blog. Here is what she had to say:

nivi: ab tum batao itne der tak tum kya kar rahi ho online?
nivi: dinner kiya?
SRM: was blogging
SRM: or at least trying to write something
[and I shared the blog link]

[The 1st question she asked was:]

nivi: who is sakshi?
SRM: me
nivi: why sakshi?
SRM: i put that since i did not want to disclose my real identity
SRM: plus like i have written there
SRM: i really like that name
SRM: that means a witness
nivi: well hindi to ati hai
nivi: but ok
nivi: reason bhi theek thak hai
nivi: but sakshi
nivi: is not real na
SRM: toh kya 'kali mata' likhu?
nivi: :))
nivi: okok
nivi: likh
nivi: SAKSHI
SRM: what do u suggest?
nivi: but yes they look impressive
nivi: well i do not see a reason you should write anything other than SHILPA
nivi: its a very very beautiful name with a very sophisticated meaning

SRM: (SRM) is there
nivi: i know
nivi: i did see
nivi: but when u doing something so remarkable, why not take the ownership?
nivi: u must not be apprehensive and certainly not embarrassed
nivi: which i know u are not
SRM: yeah
nivi: anyways take your time
SRM: i will think about it
nivi: but give urself the opportunity to take credit for the good you are doing
SRM: i dont kno how good it is ok
SRM: n no i am not trying to be modest
nivi_bhawani: sweety....life is so busy for everyone, but there are few who stop to ponder over what s happening and still fewer who express and only a handful who share those thoughts.......
SRM: okkkk
nivi: so u certainly are doing a good job expressing

Well, Nivi, if you are reading this, this is for you: Thanks a ton for making me realise this. I owe this one to you. Obviously, I had left unmistakable signs of my writings on the blog - very subtly disclosing who I am, to those that know me then be it writing 'shilsworld' in that tiny little space in the left hand corner of the photograph, or writing that I am both a trained Microbiologist and Anthropologist. Yet, hiding my identity was not much of a use, especially with my buds getting confused! Or writing a comment that begins thus: "Hey Shil/Shilpa..."! I decided it was not much of a use anyways.

So here I go about telling people my real name. SRM stands for my name, Shilpa Ramesh Maiya. I own and am responsible for everything I have written here. And I believe in everything I write here. Those that know me, know that I am passionate about writing as much as I am about reading. Those that know me even better know that the name 'Sakshi' is even special to me - in a zillion little ways.

So, do I delete my pseudonym?

I decided against it - I like it a bit too much.

For now, I am sure my friends will welcome me to the 'real world!'