Missed Calls

Like every Sunday I am having my favorite coffee: Devil’s Own at my favorite coffee joint Café Coffee Day or CCD as most of us call it. It’s a perfect blend of bitter coffee and sweet chocolate with whipped cream; the way I like coffee best, bitter-sweet! I was doing what I always do when I have my coffee: reading. Only this time I was reading Shantaram. Anyways, there was this group of young girls talking in Gujarati. One of them was telling the other in rapid Gujarati “Hey, I gave you a missed call. Your mistake you didn’t realize it.”

Ah, missed calls! When I was in college, I didn’t have a cell simply because I wanted a cell only after I started earning. Then these were the conversations:

“Hey Rohan, give me a missed call when you reach the station I’ll come to pick you up.”

“Pooja, I’ll give you a missed call when I leave home for college.”

“Aga Sulbha, Aditya will give you a missed call on your cell. And when he does do tell me. I’ll have to go and meet him.”

“Hey sorry yaar, I didn’t see your missed call. I didn’t realize that I have to come.”

“Gaurav, if Mandke Sir comes, give me a missed call. I won’t enter the class.”

“Once you reach, give me a missed call.”

Gosh! The list is just endless! And the conversations were stupid! And then during exam times there were these frantic messages:

During Demography paper:
“Hey, who cares what the definition of fertility or fecundity is? What if I define them as: fertility is the product of fecundity (capacity honey!!) Ha ha ha. Crapy man!”

“Who cares who started the census, Greeks or non Greeks, Ashoka or the Brit’s? Did you realise they have eaten up one hour of my study time!”

At 3 am: “Hey I am sleeping now I am really tired. Kal jo hoga who dekha jayega! Ram Rahim bachaye!”

During Archeology paper:
“Arey I am just reading man. Going crazy. Have you realized that everyone had broad jaws, robust body etc etc…. ”

“Mesolithic tools were a lot of nonsense. Chalcolithic tools were even bakwas. See I’ve already forgotten. Wonder how I am going to pass.”

“Saw Harappa in my two hour sleep yaar!”

Theory of Social and Cultural Anthropology:
“Arey, anyone has notes for this subject? I’ll come over and collect it and photocopy it right away.”

“Definition of Culture: Culture….hmmm…I know its spelling!”

“Theory? I don’t know what Social and Cultural Anthropology is!”

Medical Anthropology paper:
“Thou art the God of Medical Anthropology, O Gambo’s student. Teach me pluralism!”

“Hey I can actually visualize Gambo teaching man.”

Wonder what you got to say to that?
Wonder where I got all my crazy behavior from?
Now you know the answer!