Friday, December 21, 2007

Pandora’s box

"…And all that remains in her box is Hope!". Yuga was telling me Pandora's story as though Tanny and I didn't know it. We have known her too well to ask for any specific explanations. We just let her carry on. We could not make her feel better or worse anyways. In other words, We knew why she was suddenly telling us the story of Pandora's Box.

Yuga's life has not been the same for some time now. She lost a lot of weight in a couple of months. I suspect she has not been eating well. Although, she complains about the bad mess food. She has suddenly got dark circles, something she never had even during our 12 th exams. Her lame excuse for this is "that's what happens when you constantly work in front of the computer". Fool's we are to believe it, isn't it? She smiles a lot less these days. Not that you'll notice it. She hides it too well. Sometimes I think she hides a lot from herself too. Sometimes I think she prefers suffering alone. I guess it is about not showing how vulnerable she is. When you know she is not keeping well, you've just touched the tip of the iceberg. That is all she will show you, if, you are privileged. Sometimes I think she wants to prove him right. "You are too bold", he had told her, the first and the last time they had met. "You are too strong. No, strong is too strong a word. You are too tough." And she will be, even if she breaks up into pieces at the end of it. I can feel her cracking, breaking; inside. And yet, she wont let us help her.

If it had not been for Tanny and me, I wonder if she would ever open up. Having grown up together, the three of us knew each other in and out. We knew when to ask questions, when to keep our mouths shut, and when to ask for explanations. This was the time to shut up. We knew she had a lot of venom in there, and she had to get it out. And the best way to do that was to let her talk, uninterrupted.

She had severed ties with her family friends. There was some marriage talk there. She had almost said yes to the guy…well almost. Before it all broke into pieces. There was a lot of ill feeling. What hurt her the most, was that because of her, the parents also could not look at each other in the eye. What hurts her now, I think, is that in spite of all that happened, she still likes him. "The truth comes in strange disguises" she had told me once. This little piece of truth, Tanny and I found out when she said, "I wish he had broken up with dignity. I wish he had told me the truth that his mother was not impressed instead of trying to provoke me the way he did". That one statement told us what we needed to know.

Knowing Yuga, I cannot blame her less. We were just in standard 6 back then, 12 or 13 years old I think. She had not knit the scarf. And she told Ms. Martin that she did not knit over the weekend. The bad habit that Ms. Martin had when she was scolding, "…your parents…" she said something. And right then and there, Yuga got up, looked straight in her eye and said, "Don't get my parents in between. It is my mistake. And I admit it. Just don't get my parents in between". Yes, we were just 12 or 13 then. We are 24 now. And she has not changed one bit. What aunty (his mother) did was exactly the same. She blamed Yuga's parents. And Yuga, for who she is, gave back …if I can put it that way…right, left and center. Yuga will tolerate anything said to her. You only vex her to the point of no return when you say something to her parents. That is when she shows no mercy…

"And hope is not such a good thing you know…" she continued "it stops you from thinking logically." She went on.

Out of nowhere, I remember Tanny worrying that she will loose it soon if she continues this way. And then on another occasion Tanny told me that "she could take all this only because she was strong." With contempt in her voice Tanny once told me in her flawless marathi; "To jar majhya samor ala na, tar mi tyachya pekatyat ghalin" (If that guy ever comes in front of me I will kick him in his butt). "I am not sure Yuga would like that" I had told Tanny then. And Tanny shut up with a smile on her face. "Yeah. May be she'll kill me instead." And we burst out laughing.

"Then why do you still hope?" Tanny's sudden interjection brought me back to the conversation.

"Because loves labour is never lost." Yuga answered. "Neither mine, nor his. Neither my parents, nor his."

"Now this is annoying me Yuga." I said. "That ass hurt you. And you are still saying things like this. What the hell are you made of?"

"Yes. I am still talking like this. You know why? Because love is stronger than pride."

That was all she said. And she walked of looking back just once and repeating…. "Love is stronger than pride!"
Tanny was shaking her head, aghast.

"Pandora's Box" I sighed!
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Coming up next: Missed Calls

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